TEXAS HOLDEM HAND NICKNAMES

With such a vibrant, interesting history, there is little surprise that practically every poker hand has a nickname. This list is sure to grow, but here are many of the more common nicknames:

Straights
Four card straight, open-ended: Big Bobtail
Ace-high straight: Broadway
A-2-3-4-5: Bicycle, Pup, Puppy

Flushes
Clubs flush: Puppy Feet, Pups, Golf Bag
Hearts flush: Valentine’s
A-4 flush: Arkansas Flush
King-high club flush: Rodney

Full house and identical cards
Full house: Boat
Four of a kind: Quads
Three of a kind: Trips, Gleek
Three of a kind + a pair in the hole: Set
Three pair: Shoe Store
Pair in first two cards: Wired Pair Bookmark Post

Three clubs: LAPD Traffic Stop
Three diamonds: The Bank
Three spades: Toolshed

Face cards
Any face card: Paint, Liner
3 cards of differing suits: Gay Rainbow

Pair of Queens
Ladies
Sigfried and Roy
Jailhouse Rock
Four Tits

Mixed cards
A-A-A: Roadside, Beatles’ Reunion, Insurance, Triple A
A-A: Bullets, Rockets, Alcoholics Anonymous, Erect Nipples, Pocket Rockets, Eyes of Texas, American Airlines, Alan Alda, Teepees, Snake Eyes
A-A-J: Dead Kennedy (two bullets and a jack)
A-K: Salt Lake Pair, Big Slick, Santa Barbara, Anna Kournikova (looks great but never wins), Mike Haven
A-K-Q-J-10: Broadway
A-K-4-7: Assault Rifle
A-Q: Lil’ Slick, Mrs. Slick, Big Chick, Big Clit, Aquaman, Walking Back to Houston, Catch of the Day
A-J: Ajax, Foamy Cleanser, Apple Jacks, Blackjack, Jackass
A-10: Corners, Johnny Moss, Warthog
A-8: Dead Man’s Hand (named for Wild Bill Hickok, his last hand when he was murdered)
A-4: Transvestite (when the hole cards are first looked at, it looks like two aces, but when one looks closely, it’s actually and ace and a 4)
A-3: Ashtray, Baskin-Robbins (3-A)
A-2: Little Slick
A-2-3-4-5: Bicycle, Pup, Puppy

K-K-K-K: The Four Horsemen
K-Q-J-10-9: Off-Broadway
K-K-K: The Three Wisemen, Alabama Night Riders
K-K: King Kong, Cowboys, Kangaroos, Gorillas, Penn and Teller, Elvis Presley, Krispy Kreme
K-Q-J: Happy Family
K-Q: Royal Couple, Royalty, Newlyweds, Marriage, Divorce, Lucy & Ricky
K-Q (suited): Marriage
K-Q (off-suited): Othello, Mixed Marriage, Othello
K-J: Just Kidding, The Bachelor, Kojak, Harry Potter (written by J.K. Rowling), Tucson Monster, Just Kidding, People who Need People
K-10: Katie, Ditzy Pregnant Actress, Big Al
K-9: Canine, Dogs, Fido, Pedigree, Bow Wow, Saw Mill
K-9 (off-suited): Mutt, Mongrel
K-8: Feast (‘King ate’), Kokomo
K-7: Columbia River
K-4: Fork
K-4: (off-suited) Fork Off
K-3: King Crab, Krablar, Seafood, Commander Crab, Sizzler, Alaskan Hand
K-2: Everest, The Mountain, Steep Climb, Big Fritz

Q-Q-Q-Q: The Village People
Q-Q-Q: Six Tits
Q-Q: Canadian Aces, Canadian Rockets, Ladies, Dykes, the Hilton Sisters, Four Tits, Hookers, Double Date, Siegfried and Roy, Jailhouse Rock, Snowshoes, Wal-Mart Shoppers
Q-J: Oedipus, Fred & Ethel, Maverick
Q-10: Goosby, Quint, Varkony, Hot Babe or Hot Stud
Q-9: Quinine
Q-8: Fat Lady
Q-7: Computer Hand
Q-6: Peanut Butter and Jelly
Q-5: Granny Mae
Q-4: B-Diddy
Q-3: Gay Waiter (Queen with a ‘trey’), San Francisco Busboy, Windsor Waiter, Streetwalker
Q-3 (suited): Posh Gay Waiter
Q-2: Queen Doobie

J-J-J: One Jack Off
J-J-5: Jugs
J-J: Hooks, Fish Hooks, Jay Birds, Dy-no-mite! (J.J. Walker from Good Times), Johnnies, Gents
J-7: Jack Daniels
J-6: Railroad Hand, Jeff Talley
J-5: Jackson Five, Motown, Rock and Roll
J-4: Flat Tire (what you’ll need a jack for)
J-2: J.Lo
J-2 (off-suited): Blind Man’s Hand

10-10-10: Thirty Miles of Bad Road
10-10: Dimes, Tension, John Stamos (for his 10-10-220 commercials), Rin Tin Tin, Double Dereks, Boxcars
10-9: Countdown
10-8: Golden Dan, Tetris
10-7: Mullet, Bowling Hand, Split
10-5: Barbara Hutton, Woolworth’s, Dime Store, Five with a Dime, Five and Dime
10-4: Over & Out, Roger That, CB Hand, The Trucker, Convoy, The Good Buddy, Broderick Crawford
10-3: Weinberg
10-2: Driver’s Ed, Doyle Brunsen, Texas Dolly

9-9-9: The Beast on his Head
9-9: Wayne Gretzky, Great One, German Virgin, Love Potion, Phil Hellmuth
9-9 (diamonds): Curse of Scotland
9-8: Oldsmobile
9-5: Dolly Parton, American Pie, Hard Working Man
9-3: Jack Benny, The Sik
9-2: Twiggy, Montana Banana

8-J: Jeffery Dahmer
8-8: Infinity, Infinity and Beyond, Jesse James, Two Fat Ladies, Snowmen, Pocket Snowmen, Race Track, Racetracks, Dog Balls, Dawg Balls, Little Oldsmobile
8-7: R.P.M.
8-6: Hiroshima, Eubie, Maxwell Smart, Poe Diddly
8-5: Finky Dink
8-4: Orwell, Big Brother
8-3: Raquel Welch, Sven, Most-Feared Hand in Texas Holdem

7-8-9: Cannibal
7-7: Mullets, Hockey Sticks, Walking Sticks, Sunset Strip
7-6: Trombones, Union Oil, Philadelphia (76ers)
7-6 (hearts): Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (6-7)
7-5 (off-suited): Filipino Slick
7-4 (off-suited): Double Down, Cambodian Slick
7-2 (off-suited): Jamaican Air, Deadly Teddy Lee, Beer Hand, The Hammer, Whip (worst hand in poker)
7-2 (suited): Prom Night Teddy Lee

6-6-9-9: Orgy, Dinner for Four
6-6-6: The Devil, The Beast, Lucifer, Satan, Evil Hand, Kotch
6-9: Porno, Good Lover, Big Lick, Dinner for Two, Happy Meal, Jinxy, Joe Bernstein
6-9 (hearts): Prom Night
6-6: Kicks, Route 66, Satan’s Starter Set
6-5: Jagermeister, Retirement
6-4: Omid
6-3 (off-suited): Blocky, Jimmy Summerfield
6-2: Ainsworth

5-5-5: Washington Monument
5-7: Pickle Man, Heinz, Ketchup
5-5: Barge, Presto, Speed Limit, Nickels
5-4: Colt 45, Revolver, Jesse James, Jane Russell, Billy Dee Williams, Peacemaker
5-3: Bully Johnson
5-2: Dead Luca, Pick Up (from 52-card pick up)

4-4-4: Grand Jury
4-9: Gold Rush, Joe Montana, San Francisco (49ers)
4-4: Luke Skywalker (the ‘fours’ is with you), Midlife Crisis, Magnum, Sailboat, Diana Dors, Dirty Hairy
4-2: Bill Clinton

3-3-3-3: Four Trees, Forest
3-3: Larry Bird, Crabs, Treys
3-2: Polish Big Slick, Mississippi Slick, Aggie Slick, Can of Corn, Little Pete
3-2 (suited): Hooter Hand

2-2-2: Huey, Dewey, and Louie
2-J: Lindsay’s Lovers
2-9: Black Thursday, Twiggy
2-7: Harlem Globetrotters
2-7 (off-suited): Jim Morrison
2-4: Jack Bauer, Solid Gold, Lumberman’s Hand
2-3: Michael Jordan, Little Pete
2-2: Ducks, Pocket Swans, Quack Quack, Deuces, Deuces Never Loses, Question Marks, Barely Legal

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